Star Wars 'On Holiday' Special

"Somewhere... beyond the sea...."

 I have fond memories of my summer vacation or as the British would call it, "summer holiday." Whenever my mind wanders back to the North Fork of Long Island, I start smiling and Bobby Darin starts crooning Beyond The Sea. Listen, if you have a Vegas lounge singer providing the internal soundtrack for your vacation flashbacks, that's when you know you did something right.

Which brings me to vacation clothing and "resort wear." Resort wear is the fashion world's version of Star Wars Holiday Special*. If you've seen it, you know what I mean. No rebroadcast. The critics were not convinced that it wasn't written and directed by a sentient bag of cocaine. Let me just back-pedal a little, I'm not judging anyone for drinking the resort wear kool-aid. I love Star Wars, I love tacky, I love vacation. Heck, I especially love cherry kool-aid. I'm just saying, festive island wear isn't for me. For a few years now, I've been going through something of a fashion-fin de siecle-existential crisis-THING. I'm trying to only purchase items I will wear, a lot. Frequently. Year-round broadcast syndication, if you will. Less IS more. I'll take machine wash and non-iron, if you got it. I live in Pittsburgh, and it's a tough little city. We don't have happy little palm trees and trendy coral reefs. We have crumbling bridges and slag heaps. In spite of my ready-to-wear dogma, I did go out and buy something specifically for my vacation. I know, Scandal! But if there is such a thing as a sartorial bucket list, then let it be known: I've always wanted to be that glamorous woman in an iconic floppy, hat. "It's not a wholesome sundress with tiny lobsters embroidered all over it, it's a hat. And a classic one. Just do it!" pleaded my internal monologue. So I did.

There were big plans ahead for the big, floppy hat. I was going to wear it sailing, stand-up paddle boarding, shopping, vineyard-ing, antique-ing, brunch-ing...It was going to be my constant companion and nose freckle preventer. At least, that was the plan. But as it turns out, the hat is a fair-weather friend and goes whichever way the wind blows. Sometimes I looked like an old prospector, Holly Hobbie, occasionally, Marilyn Monroe. A particularly large gust meant LIGHTS OUT while I tried to keep my balance on a paddleboard and navigate the jellyfish laden waters of the Peconic Bay. I was almost run over by a car when I stumbled into oncoming traffic. While shopping in Greenport, I kept saying, "Excuse me, M'am" when I bumped into clothing racks and point of sale displays. With the floppy hat, the blind spots are legion (for they are many). With great sadness, I must report that a myopic hat is really only good for two things: glamor shots and sitting by the pool like a lady. And since I don't like to be outside unless I'm scrambling up trees or poking marine wildlife with sticks....what does that leave us with? For a few fleeting moments anyway, I was the woman shrouded in mystery and intrigue in the big, floppy hat.

I'm wearing a versatile work dress, an ivory split-neck tunic (I call it my Tatooine dress) that I bought at Macy's last summer. I re-purposed it as a swimsuit cover up/nearly-get-killed-as-I-walk-about-the-village-of-Greenport-shopping-and-sight-seeing dress. I paired it with neutral sandals and some futuristic jewelry in silver and wood that British costume designer, John Mollo might have sourced for a character in Star Wars. His 70's futurism is a regular well of inspiration for my outfit decisions. I hope you like the nautical Star Wars look. May the force be with you.

 Is this hat wookie or jawa brown?


Somewhere, beyond the sea, somewhere, in a galaxy far, far away....





*Just remember, if you follow this link and watch the Star Wars Holiday Special, what has been seen cannot be unseen.

Dress: RACHEL Rachel Roy. Similar. Necklace: gift, sterling and wood. Bracelets: vintage. Similar and here. Ring: vintage square sterling ring, similar. Hat: American Apparel. Sandals: DSW Similar. Sunnies: Chanel

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Your Bosom Friend From Pittsburgh,