How to Rock Out a Swimsuit in The Hamptons, Part I

photo: Joshua Franzos

West Coast, Best Coast. Or at least that's what I say when I'm on the West Coast, but not because it is. I was born there. I have to say it. It's a vicious little earwig. Do you also get words and phrases stuck in your head like me? Then there's East Coast, Beast Coast (that's not actually something anyone says, but it's rattling around in my head now too.) I love the west coast and I love an east coast summer vacation on Long Island. Can I call myself bi-coastal, like the cool jet-set crowd? In reality, East and West Coasts are so different that they're really not even comparable. But as long as there's a coast involved, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Since this is a three part series on The Hamptons, let's start talking about the East Coast. I love it for its history, its old buildings, lighthouses, regional ways of cooking, and decorating, and doing.

For instance. Those cedar shingled beach homes that have turned grey from the salt in the air. Blue hydrangea blossoms the size of dessert plates and tall ornamental grass gardens that make the most delicious hiss and swish in the westerly winds. Produce is bought fresh from farm stands, sea food from fish mongers, everything is prepared at home and it's nothing fancy. Just simply and honestly prepared fare, the fresh ingredients speak for themselves.There are revolutionary war estates to tour, vineyards to stop at, salt marshes to explore from a stand-up paddle board. Heaven if you ask me.

This past January, after Meatball came home from a week's stay in the hospital we were drained. Josh and I wanted so badly to catch a break and make sure Meatball was healthy and happy. Which meant, let's do a summer vacation with the dogs this year. I tried to find an affordable airbnb home to rent in North Fork, like we normally would, but there just weren't any in our price range. The same thing happened last year. (What is going on NOFO?) I did however find some great airbnb options in The Hamptons (the southern fork of Long Island). I found a home that was near the Atlantic Ocean, had a pool, allowed dogs, and was chicly decorated. We'll get to explore The Hamptons! I said. Josh nodded wearily, so I booked it and we kept our heads buried in work until it was time to vacay all day.

We drove through the Hampton's once before. It was a day trip while we were staying in North Fork. I remember a ton of traffic and pretty much every fancy pants store you can find in Manhattan being there. A lot of conspicuous wealth. $2000 straw handbags instead of $10 straw hand bags. Blue Blood Old Money Nautical Prep on steroids. Everything is expensive. The median house sale in The Hamptons is $11.9 million. Fish tacos from a food truck are $17. Two small tacos. no sides. Just two verrry small tacos. $17.Traffic.Rose. Montauk Pearls. Lobster rolls. The Hamptons.

In my non-vacation life, I've been overturning, re-thinking, re-mixing my wardrobe lately. Trying to get to the core of what it is to be and look like me. In an older blog post, I mentioned "subversive prep" as a look I sometimes strive to achieve. All the striped french sailor shirts (I must have at least 6), my gold boat shoes, and Ralph Lauren button downs attest to it. I've also been adding some rock and roll leanings back into my daily attire to make it louche-r and more authentically me. I wanted this for my vacation wardrobe too. As far as vacation wardrobe planning went, I planned to either be: in or around the pool, drinking rose in or around the pool, stand-up paddle-boarding in the bay, feeling the violent waves of the ocean smash against my legs, or in the kitchen making food (probably) still in my swimsuit.Translation: Bringing all the swimsuits! and then some more.

photo: Joshua Franzos

 

photo: Joshua Franzos

For my first swimsuit look, I decided to try a litte bit of East Coast, a little bit of West Coast.
I must ask you. Is there a swimsuit more West Coast than a Baywatch red one piece? I think not. How do we make it old school rock and roll? With a mix tape floatie of course. Back in the 90's, making Maxwell mix tapes with handwritten song lists was my love language. I kinda miss it. Now for the East Coast element. Yeah, what makes it East Coast? The glass of Wolfer Estate Rose 2018 I'm drinking. In a plastic wine glass of course. Pool Rules: NO GLASS BY THE POOL. NO RUNNING. NO POOPING IN THE...oops... excuse me, GTG I have some Dog mom doodies to attend to.

Photo: Joshua Franzos

Where'd it go?

What I wore:

Swimsuit: ASOS Design, on sale for $16 here.

Visor: $7.99 on Amazon, here.

Sunnies: Royal Girl, $16.99 on Amazon, here. 

Pool Floatie: Maxchill instead of Maxwell, get it? $45, here.

Poop Bags: Frisco, 900, +2 dispensers for $14, here. 

Your Bosom Friend from Pittsburgh,

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