Achieve Your 2020 Goals With a Morning Routine

 

photo: Joshua Franzos

If you didn't know I had a day job, let me clear that up for you. I do. In 2012, I left my career in the auction world for a job better at accommodating my desire to write. I have been working in a 30 hour a week administrative position at a nonprofit that primarily focuses on the Jewish community. This outward focusing on the community was especially true in 2019, during the aftermath of the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting. But this year, my employer is re-focusing energy on the training, coaching, and mentoring of its employees. We're initiating a work culture of setting both work and personal goals and figuring out how the two can help each other. It's scary and exhilarating. 

photo: Joshua Franzos

In the wake of all this interoffice zhuzhing, there have been a few "lunch and learn" seminars. I attended one called "Creating Powerful Morning Routines," mostly because there would be a free lunch (score!) I was a bit surprised that "Morning Routines" are a thing. Upon further research, I'm noting that the internet loves to fetishize them, as the internet does.

photo: Joshua Franzos

The lunch seminar came and went.I found it interesting to look over how the "successful" and famous people started their mornings. It's so humanizing. Anna Wintour plays an hour of tennis everyday at 5:45am. Eva Chen rises somewhere between 5:45am and 7:30am and starts by checking social media. Oprah starts her day between 6:02am-6:20am by taking her dogs for a walk. So I ask you...Does looking at someone else's morning routine add value or context to our own lives? Other than satisfying low level curiosity and being mildly amusing? 

photo: Joshua Franzos

I already have a structured morning routine. It's pretty rigid, and it's been various incarnations of my current morning routine (shared below) since I started a devout writing habit in 2013. I have to be honest, I didn't expect to learn much. There was one thing that really grabbed my attention at the seminar. Ben Franklin's daily schedule. I was inspired by how he started his day at 5am with the question, "What good shall I do today?" and in the evening, after the day's work was done, he'd circle back and ask himself, "What good have I done today?" I thought I was a jedi master of the morning routine, but it turns out that my obsession with time and efficiency, quite often lacks gratitude. I think it's important to start weaving more of that in because I believe it will help tone down my frustration with my slow progress.

On that note, in case this helps, inspires, or even entertains you while you're on the john, here goes:

My Morning Routine

4:15-5:15 - My get out of bed time varies each day, but usually between 4:30 and 5. I check in with social media while I'm on the toliet. Brush teeth. Put gym clothes on in dark so I don't wake Josh or the dogs.
5:00am-5:30am - grab my pre-packed bag and go to the gym. spend 30 minutes doing yoga/strength training, then move on to cardio.
6:00-7:15am - 30-90 minutes fasted LIIT cardio/ or 30 minutes of fasted HIIT if my back allows. 
     During low impact cardio sessions, I spend this time thusly: 

• planning outfits
• listening to writing podcasts
• watching Outlander on Netflix (obsessed)
• brainstorming and/or troubleshooting plot and editing snafus in my book
• making lists for personal projects, packing, grocery shopping,etc.
• reading books (currently reading The Unlikely Adventures of the Shergill Sisters by Balli Kaur Jaswal) 
• research

7:00am-7:15am go home, take dogs out, feed dogs breakfast, kiss Josh Good Morning. 

7:30am - shower, AM skincare routine, dress for work, hair, make-up.

8:15am-8:30am - take mirror selfie to document my OOTD for Instagram stories, post it.

8:30am -8:45am- quick breakfast with Josh if he's not at a shoot and we aren't intermittent fasting. 

8:45am-10:00am - edit novel
10:15am - probably still at home because I pushed the editing past 10, and need to leave ASAP.
10:20-10:35am - arrive at work, check and answer emails, check calendar, check list of things to do from prior day, add to that list, prioritize, act.
10:45am-12:00pm - check things off my list.
12pm-12:30pm - lunch. throw a Daily Harvest in the microwave (or blender), go back to my desk, eat while I edit my novel or write for this blog.

photo: Joshua Franzos

I've come to crave my routine. It supports me, my interests, my well being, and my personal goals. I wasn't always like this. In my twenties, anything routine or repetitive would weird me out. It bored me. I lived on chaos and novelty. but I guess in time, I got tired of being reactive as opposed to proactive. When you don't  pursue your own madness, it only seems to invite opportunities you don't want, or worse, a rut. 

I've definitely been in ruts, 2016-2018, most recently. I don't care to return there, so I'm keeping myself inspired and motivated by adding and slowly chipping away at stuff on my lists. It's quite satisfying to cross things off. I have a lot to look forward to this year, but I have a lot I want to add to that list too:

Some things I hope to accomplish this year: 

• finish my curtain pelmet project. The fancy mouldings you see in these pictures will be used to box in our curtains on the 2nd floor. I want it to look like an old Parisian flat. 
• Organize my home and get rid of "junk drawers"
• cut 30k words from my manuscript and polish it up like a diamond. I'd like to do this in six months or less. 
• do three unassisted pull-ups.
• travel more. (we have 2 international trips booked! already)
• express more gratitude
• see my family in California
• if I have time, I'd love to re-brand my blog

Do you have a morning routine? (Or a night routine?) How do you spend that time? Is there something you wish you could do in the mornings? Is there something that is so exciting, it gets you out of bed? Do you have any goals for 2020? Can your morning routine help you achieve them? Let me know in the comments.

photo: Joshua Franzos

What I Wore:
linen blend suit: last summer, Banana Republic.
Blouse: Dusty Daze, ASOS. Last spring.
Shoes: old, Christian Louboutin c/o eBay.
Lipstick: Urban Decay Vice Mega Matte lipstick in color 714. 
Eyes: Too Faced Pretty Rich Pallette, here. And an old Make-up Forever neon pink blush.
Fancy Moulding: Architectural Depot, here.



P.S. As always, any links I provide here have the possibility of generating income for me if you click or buy something through them, but I haven't been paid yet. Someone bought something once, $100+ pair of Nikes, and I got 15 cents. So like, knock yourself out. It may be ten years before I receive a $30 paycheck consisting of clicks.

Your Bosom Friend in Pittsburgh,

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Show, Don't Tell

Do you remember the first time you told someone you loved them and how the butterflies tickled your stomach? Did you feel your heart grow a hundredfold if they returned your love? Did you feel your brain shrink and recoil in horror if they didn't? Maybe you said nothing and your pining heart bled for keeping such a feeling quiet. What a risk, love, and putting yourself out there is. 

As for things I love, writing is one of them. It is my most tempestuous love, but still, I've created a fictional world within approximately 422-450 pages (depending on how it's formatted). I love it like a parent loves a child. It has made me laugh and cry and think and empathize with the human condition more than I ever thought possible. It has also made me beat my head against countless walls and white hairs sprout from my scalp. We've been together, my manuscript and I, just the two of us, for so long now. Five years exactly, and like real love, all I saw were its merits and none of its flaws. So it was time to kick it out of the nest and have someone else read it. I conscripted two beta readers that I knew would be tough with me and show me where to make it better.

Prevailing wisdom says a writer should forget about a manuscript while it's in other hands and start writing something new. I do have another story I'm kicking around. But I don't want to dive headlong into that. I want to finish this story that I've taken from nothing to something and I just can't let go. I think I'm afraid the creative fire will die out if the thread that connects us is dropped. 

So instead, I'm a pacer, a picker, a bloody hang-nail flicker. I have demons in my head and anxiety pumping through my veins. Of the two Beta readers, one didn't like the story. One loved it. One ripped me a new one on what it takes to get published, (it actually doesn't look good for anyone). The notes on getting published were so discouraging, I'm actually depressed and questioning all my life choices. Both beta readers say the precious book baby I've coddled into existence needs work. I knew it would, revisions are part of the process, but my hands are still tied because I don't even have all of their notes yet. So while I hurry up and wait, I absentmindedly pace up and down halls. I pick at my dry cuticles, and my brain pick-pick-picks at the possible flaws of my story. I forgot to kill that one character who knows something! Should I add more internal dialogue...or would the story be even more powerful if I change the narration's point of view to first person? How many more years will the re-writing take? How do I pull this off? From where did I summon the hubris to attempt to do any of this? And where is that hubris now?  My brain also worries about getting published. Will I really only get rejected by literary agents and publishers after I invest at least five, but probably more like seven years of blood, sweat, tears, sanity, and countless dollars into this story? Did I really leave my professional career off the hook for the starry-eyed chance of something that may never even happen? What have I done? Where am I going?

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
―Leo Buscaglia

Source/Notes:
Living, Loving, and Learning (1985)

Read more at http://izquotes.com/quote/325570

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
―Leo Buscaglia

Source/Notes:
Living, Loving, and Learning (1985)

Read more at http://izquotes.com/quote/325570

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
―Leo Buscaglia

Source/Notes:
Living, Loving, and Learning (1985)

Read more at http://izquotes.com/quote/325570

"To Love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing." - Leo Buscaglia

I'm pretty indifferent about many things, but when I do fall, I fall hard. Joshua was no exception. Early on in our relationship, I told Joshua that I loved him. He thanked me, but he did not reciprocate with those three words I desperately wanted to hear. It didn't sit well with me, and I felt like I'd just stamped an expiration date on our relationship. How long can an 'I Love You' hang out there all unprotected and unrequited before it goes sour? I picked and poked at what was unsaid like a sore on the inside of my cheek.The bottom line was he wasn't ready to say it. I had no reason to think he didn't love me, but he took a stance and I fixated. I pressed further, I mean, if he didn't love me, what the hell? The female neuroses came out whole hog. What am I doing? Where is this going? Poke, pick, prod. Joshua, thoroughly exasperated with me at this point, yelled because I clearly wasn't hearing him,"What do my actions toward you indicate? Have you ever stopped to think about what they say?"

I sat there, stunned. I'd never thought of it that way. I traced all of Josh's actions toward me on a macro level - over the course of our relationship, and on a micro level -through the course of a typical day for us. Everything he did, he did for me, for us. Even though his lips were still sealed like a vault to those three words, he was constantly showing his love, respect, and devotion to/for me through his actions. Every single day. I immediately thought of my last failed relationship where those three words were said more times per hour than I could count, but they were never followed through with action. I set everything I thought I knew to be true about love and relationships aside and examined it. I learned all that I knew from failed relationships. So I suppose if I wanted to continue failing at them I could stick to my guns. Or, I could take a leap of faith, wait, and in the meantime try out a different love language.Prevailing wisdom in writing says you're supposed to show not tell, perhaps the same was true for love? I threw my expectations out the window. I followed the intuition in my gut and had faith. I followed the optimism in my head and hoped. Instead of saying what was in my heart, I showed that it was love. And, yes dear reader, yes, of course, he did eventually say what I wanted to hear and it was also awesome, but by then it was backed with so much evidence I almost didn't need to hear it.


There's probably some ancient wisdom in a big, old book about having faith, hope, and love. But instead of drawing you into some religious allegory, maybe I should just stop a pick-pick-picking and apply my hard won revelations about love to my own novel. Continue loving the writing journey even though it hasn't told me what I want to hear. Continue hoping that my writing will one day be good enough to be published, and have faith that one day it will be. Faith, Hope, and Love. May it all fulfill us and forever inspire our actions on this romantic day and all our days.

What I Wore:

cold elbow shirt: past season ASOS

Sweater vest: old Ann Taylor Loft.

Jeans: Mast by All Saints

Gucci fur slide dupes: eBay! for $30, search 'horsebit fur loafer'

Home Decor: 

Vintage George Nelson for Herman Miller desk: Joshua found this at a garage sale for $20. (It was one of many reasons why I fell so hard for him; we both have a Herman Miller furniture obsession.) If you want to find an identical desk, there's one on 1st Dibs, here.

Orange desk lamp: purchased locally from Weisshouse.

Charles and Ray Eames armchairs: purchased on sale at Design Within Reach. 
Blue Dot Coat Rack: here.

“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
―Leo Buscaglia
Read more at http://izquotes.com/quote/325570

Your Bosom Friend in Pittsburgh, 

Follow my blog with Bloglovin