Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lifestyle. Show all posts

How Do You Make a Hormone?

Friday, July 27, 2018

Talking about hormones and hormone balance today, and it isn't just for menopausal women. It's for everyone. Hormones weigh into all aspects of our health and well-being, from the mental to the sports performance, to weight loss, and of course, to the reproductive. It's not talked about a lot in the States because our westernized medicine, unfortunately, often focuses on treating symptoms rather than finding underlying causes, and many times at considerable expense. Hello invitro fertilization (IVF). So let's dive in. 

This is the book that got me started down the hormone trail and researching, researching, researching. If you are dealing with endometriosis, PCOS, or unexplained infertility, I highly recommend it. 


Click to buy at Amazon


It has taken me years to realize that my hormones have probably been unbalanced since I got my first period at age 12. You know the typical PMS symptoms: mood swings, hormonal acne, painful cramps that feel like you uterus is being wrung out like a wash cloth, sore, tender breasts, bleeding for 4+ days, an overall short cycle (23-25 days)...I thought that those PMS symptoms were just my lot in life. I just thought it was all part of being a woman. Turns out, these are all symptoms of being progesterone deficient. When progesterone is low and fails to counterbalance your estrogen levels, this leads to estrogen dominance and produces various PMS symptoms like the ones I've described and more. And because I've been monitoring all this stuff as of late, I've realized that my shorter cycle with a late ovulation in the mix, is not long enough to support a pregnancy. So guess what? That means my unexplained infertility suddenly has an explanation, and I have some homework to do at getting my hormones balanced. It sounds totally woo woo and crunchy, doesn't it? I'm probably the third farthest thing from crunchy, but I'm beginning to understand that hormone balance and living your best life go hand in hand. While prime fertility is my goal at the moment, that is only one of the benefits of balanced hormones. But believe me, I will gladly take shorter periods, no menstrual cramps, breasts that don't get sore, and clearer skin. Especially no hormonal chin and jawline acne. Box that up, I'm taking clear skin home.

So what does this mean? How do we get there? This is even grayer than the already gray area of hormone balance. The reasons behind our unbalance, or the root of the problem, can be environmental, lifestyle choices, genetics, age, stress..., a little of column a, and potentially a little of column b, c, d,e, f....


Here are the hidden things that contribute to estrogen dominance and hormone imbalance.

-alcohol consumption
-caffeine consumption
-dairy consumption
-soy consumption
-wheat consumption
-conventional meat consumption
-plastics
-synthetic fragrances, phthalates, and chemicals in personal products, cleaning products, laundry detergents and dryer sheets.
-unmanaged stress
-pollution

Unfortunately, many of the bullet points on the above list have estrogen like properties that add to our troubles when they are either consumed or simply in and on our face everyday. So while pollution is something we kinda have no control over, the rest of the stuff we do. Look, I HATE to admit that I'm not tough, that I actually don't eat deck screws and whiskey for breakfast and can't survive on sheer will. I HATE that I am in fact, a fragile canary in a coal mine that is having trouble conceiving. I hate it, hate it, hate it,  but there it is and it is what it is.

So why are there other women that can do or eat whatever they want and have perfect skin and get pregnant when they want (or don't want)? The short answer is because they're very lucky. That's not fair! you say. You're right, That's not fair at all. I'm sorry friend, but you and I, we're sensitive creatures, environmental sponges that greedily suck up pollution, estrogen, and the free radical emotions around us. If we want optimal health, balance, and thus, fertile bodies...we have to be the ones to bring about the change we want to see in our worlds. 

Where to start: 

-Understand

 When women hit the tender, young age of 35, our body's ability to make progesterone plummets. Progesterone is the hormone that counters estrogen and when our body is no longer making enough to counter our own estrogen production (as well as the estrogen mimickers in our environment), we start feeling out of wack and our skin may freak out too.


-Cut Wheat and Soy out of your diet.

Wheat germ and soybeans have phytoestrogen compounds (plant estrogens) that mimic the estrogens in our bodies and these estrogens can be stored in our body fat sites because that is where excess estrogen lurks (belly, thighs, butt, upper arms...). Livestrong says, "Estrogen levels have a direct impact on fat cell storage, especially abdominal fat. Fat cells produce extra estrogen, then the excess estrogen signals your body to store more fat cells. This exchange often creates a vicious cycle of estrogen imbalance and weight gain around the midsection." The benefit of eliminating wheat from your diet, your fat sites will start shrinking, as will your excess estrogen stores, this = healthier you. I have been wheat free, except for a few special times a year, since about 2011. The first two weeks are hard, but eventually you will just feel much, much better that you don't even miss it. Another interesting study showed that nearly 6% of women with unexplained infertility had celiac disease, where your body creates an immune response when gluten is consumed. So, something as simple as eliminating a food can have a tremendous impact on your health and hormone balance. As for soy, the only thing I think I regularly consume that is soy, is the condiment tamari (soy sauce w/o wheat) when we eat Asian food. As a part Asian (Hapa) who is an absolute nut for all things salty, I'm working on eating less of this condiment, and exploring other food cultures so I don't stray back to my soy-saucey comfort food too much. But we all should definitely watch out for soy in salad dressings, prepared foods, baked goods, cereals, and condiments; it's often snuck in there! I just found soy in our Earth Balance butter substitute (wth). So start checking the list of ingredients on labels. Not only does soy have estrogen mimicking properties, but it also is one of the US's largest production crops, i.e. GMO and liberally sprayed with pesticides (known carcinogens and hormone disrupters.) So think twice about reaching for that edame or using tofu as a meat substitute. If you have to indulge in soy sometimes, absolutely make sure it is organic.


-Cut dairy down to one serving a day, then a few times a week, then eliminate it entirely or to just special, infrequent occasions. 

Other living creatures have hormones, especially ones that give birth and milk feed their young. Especially cowish ones in America that also feast on an unnatural GMO diet of soybeans and wheat grain (which we already know are full of phytoestrogens and potentially pesticides), so yes, dairy is definitely a source of extra estrogen that should be eliminated from diets. Things that were/are difficult to give up for me: cheese. Whole milk in my coffee or tea. 
There is no delicious substitute for cheese, and I've read that if we absolutely must have a piece of cheese, make it goat's milk as opposed to cow. For reason's I can't get into for a succinct and short(er) blog post, goat milk just has SIGNIFICANTLY less estrogen than cow. Read more here.  
I have found a really delicious substitute for milk though, Elmhurst cashew milk. I haven't tried all of their products, (hazelnut milk?) but I hope too one day. If you have nut allergies, I've even seen them do a peanut (a legume) milk in stores too. (Also, if you're eliminating dairy, be sure to supplement with calcium! (or better yet, eat more whole, calcium rich foods that aren't dairy listed here)
Click to buy at Amazon


-Cut alcohol consumption waaay down, and out of your life/ reserve only for infrequent, special occasions.

Doctors always say drinking increases the risk of breast cancer, but they never say why it does. Here's why: Alcohol makes estrogen rise and progesterone fall, and left unchecked, too much estrogen can cause infertility and at worst, feed cancerous tumors, like breast cancer. Consuming alcohol changes the way our body metabolizes estrogen, ie. our livers are preoccupied breaking down the alcohol and not the estrogen. Further, the substances which wine, beer, and bourbon are made from, contain phytoestrogens, so double whammy. That NIH research can be found here. I read a medical study where women consuming just two drinks per day upped their estrogen levels by 32%. Come on....NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Not my bourbon and red wine! F#@%!! 
The sad truth is, yes. Someone once said, "The change we resist the most is often the change we need the most." I have nothing but middle fingers for that person, that saying, and the misogynistic fact that I can't drink like a man.  So boogers. 
No drinks per week is best, no more than 3 drinks per week is recommended. (And believe me, this was YUGE for me.) I associate wine with family and friends and good meals and pleasant, moonlit evenings on our deck. Then there's bourbon. Bourbon is New Orleans and straight up vice for me. This was the biggest lifestyle change for me. When I initially cut it out for my treatments, I craved all aspects of it. The taste, the post-work ritual, the socializing. Still kind of do, but I've taken to drinking sparkling water in a champagne flute when Josh and I have our daily post work happy hour, and I've actually come to crave that now. My favorite is lemon flavored Bubly. I've found I really don't like sugary drinks, so this unsweetened sparkling water is perfect for me. And always remember, alcohol isn't the life of the party, you are. 
click to buy at Amazon


-Cut your caffeine consumption dooooown. Manage your stress.

On a day where I've had adequate sleep, a 1/4 cup of coffee is more than enough. On super subpar sleep, 1 1/2  cups at most. I just can't consume a lot of caffeine before I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack on the toilet, but I know a lot of my friends chug it like it's going out of style tomorrow. Caffeine gets the cortisol flowing. There is is two pronged problemo. Your body has ingredients to make either a progesterone cake or cortisol cake, but not both. So if you give yourself a reason, your body will make the cortisol cake. We all know cortisol as the stress hormone. Feeling a little buzz is great to get the daily momentum going, so you can get your stuff done, but in high doses, cortisol triggers the fight-or-flight response, which shuts down functions that will not help us kick someone's ass or run away from a lion, like digestion and reproduction. If you are constantly in fight-or-flight mode, your body is going to assume you are fleeing lions instead of road raging at the jackass that cut you off on the freeway. Therefore your bod will go ahead and make the executive decision that now is probably a bad time to create another life, or digest your last meal, leaving you with an upset stomach. Further, your liver metabolizes caffeine, so when it's doing that, it's not metabolizing, you've guessed it, your rising estrogen levels. I'm learning to manage my anger over the stupid things: basically name your modern day stressor and insert it here. One meditation guru on my Insight Timer meditation app, pointed out to us grudge holders, that holding onto anger is like holding onto a burning coal. It's only going to hurt you, so throw that burning coal away as fast as you can! (really puts things in perspective, huh?) So all in all, I'm trying to be a zen cow. I've been meditating and sipping green tea (three times less caffeine than drip coffee). One day I hope to make it to hot water with lemon level. (*I can't really believe I just wrote that. smh. you gotta do what you gotta do.)






-Stop buying conventional, commercially raised Cattle and Poultry Meats.

These American animals are fed diets of estrogen-like hormones as well as actual growth hormones to make them bigger, better, and ready for the meat market quicker, and all those hormones are passed onto us unsuspecting humans. There are some atrocious living conditions for animals that become mass market meat, so to keep them disease free, they are also fed millions of pounds of anti-biotics every year and that further disrupts the human endocrine system. Look, I hate paying so much money for grass-fed meat too. When I look over and see meat that appears to be the same, but for dollars and dollars cheaper, it's crazy. I love meat, I'm a total carnivore. Cheap protein used to make me happy because ignorance was bliss. Now that I know better, I can't look back. Our household will be substituting more and more wild fish and, gulp, vegetarian meals into the mix and any meat we do get will be responsible and relished to the point of near fetish. 

*Also watch out for other products that come from meat, like when you buy soup stock (meat bones are boiled in water to flavor that) so make sure it's organic and grassfed! 

*Also if you're a skincare enthusiast, you may be on the collagen peptides train, so know that all supplemental collagen absolutely comes from animal parts, so again, make sure the collagen is obtained from organic and grass fed animals. There are no vegan or vegetarian collagen peptides.



Click to buy at Amazon

-Get as much plastic out of your food and life as possible.

BPA and phthalates in plastics mimic human hormones and that is not good. Throw out your plastic food containers, and get a set of glass containers with the snap off lids.
Click to purchase at Amazon

NEVER microwave food in plastic, ever. Not even, and especially not melamine because it contains BPA. Please, please, PLEASE stop using the crock pot or slow cooker plastic liners. While you may save a few minutes scrubbing dishes, you are doing yourself and your families an incredible health disservice. Josh and I are going to ditch plastic wrap and try these Etee beeswax reuseable wraps. 

Click to purchase on Amazon



Here's a nod about plastics from Harvard Health publishing, here, but I have to admit that I still find this article too trusting of the FDA, which I believe doesn't do enough to protect American consumers. Think I'm a paranoid kook? My disappointment in the FDA was further confirmed by another Harvard study calling the FDA's ethics out because of big pharma corruption, that here . If Big pharma money has corrupted the FDA, who's to say Plastic manufacturers haven't? And geez, who would've thought there'd be so much drama and intrigue about food, beauty, medicine, and public welfare? Segue to the next topic...

 

 

-Toxic Beauty

I always assumed that everything on store shelves was safe, because we live in America, but I've spent a lifetime with eczema and dermatitis and other allergies caused by awful chemicals that are put into personal care products. Once I realized that we live in America, a country that favors the fiscal health of companies over the actual health of the individual, I suddenly knew where I stood. I had to start taking my preventive care and maintenance into my own hands. Once I finally stopped using even the 'sensitive skin' personal care products that are readily available in drugstores and supermarkets, most of my skin and allergy problems abated. A lot of people aren't a sensitive as I am, but that doesn't make these chemicals any less awful. Read this Huffpost article on the the top 10 toxic beauty ingredients to avoid. There are ways for companies to hide these awful chemicals in their products due to a legal loophole in the form of the antiquated "Fragrance trade secret." Because a fragrance is the thing most likely to be a product's "trade secret" companies don't have to disclose what goes into their "fragrance." So even though a product ingredient list looks relatively harmless, those offensive chemicals (that are most often used to prolong the product's shelf life) can be hidden in the "fragrance" ingredient listing. So in summation, always be wary of the generic, Fragrance, on an ingredients list. Want a free Environmental Working Group (EWG) pdf on how to make better choices regarding beauty products? It's here. There's a lot to avoid, but parabens and phthalates are among the worst for us. EWG has a database where you can look up how toxic some of your favorite products are. I have to say it is eye-opening. My favorite NARS blush was a 7 (on a scale of 1-10, 10 being most toxic). I have been scanning product ingredient lists for years now, but clean beauty is becoming more and more of a thing, and businesses like GOOP, Credo Beauty and local gem, Rad Ritual, are doing the research for you and only offering safe products. I highly recommend them. Even Sephora is getting into clean beauty and marking their clean beauty items with this logo.




-Are you working out a lot? Or doing the trendy "Intermittent Fasting"?

More than the average woman? Be honest.Triathalons? Marathon prepping? HIIT cardio and Weight Training 4x week or more? *Raises hand.* Yeah. I love a rigorous workout. I love the way I feel in the head when I'm done working out and for many years I have been really fit, really happy with what my body could DO, and really happy with the strength I portrayed in my physique. My BMI was at the lower end of normal, I would never describe myself as skinny, because I have too much muscle, but I was very lean. One shocking body fat test from my gym said I had 16% body fat. That's quite low for a woman. I've come to understand that there is a vestigial reproductive switch within us, if your body is super lean, food must be scarce, therefore, not a good time for making another life, reproductive switch toggled off. Same thing for intermittent fasting, which is famine mode according to your body. Just don't do IF if your goal is take the train to Babyland. I know, I know. It is so annoying to be told to lower the intensity of your work outs and fatten up if you're lean. As a woman, it is a terrifying. Anyway, hormone harmony and fertility are apparently best in the sweet spot of not skinny or too lean, and not overweight...but even medical research indicates that overweight women have an easier time reproducing than lightweight. So, yuh know. If you're a skinny/lean machine, sleep in more, do lower intensity exercises instead, and love the curves you may need to acquire. Think of it as baby fat.





Ok. So there's plenty of stuff not to do and to stop consuming, but there's also plenty of stuff you can proactively do, or at least talk to your health care professional about how to help balance your hormones. 

+Pre-Natal Vitamins

Just take them. I like these because they include probiotics to make these easy to digest, as we all know that many prenatal vitamins often make for an unpleasant experience. These also contain sprirulina and kale and aren't full of corn syrup like the gummy ones. (Don't get me wrong, I love the gummy ones, but high fructose corn syrup is super processed and there are chemical contaminants from the manufacturing process, like friggin mercury, which builds up in your body. I think we're all aware of how toxic mercury is).

click to purchase on Amazon


+Acupuncture

 Acupuncture is the ancient technique of Chinese medicine. By placing needles at key channels of energy, certain organs (including glands) can be stimulated and a person’s qi redirected. A skilled, licensed acupuncturist will evaluate an individual’s condition and qi flow, then select the appropriate meridians and points for the imbalances uncovered. Sounds weird, but there are medical studies that show the benefits of acupuncture when combined with IVF rates. IVF on it's own has about a 35% success rate, but when combined with acupuncture therapy, the success rate raises to about 50% -so Qi, or whatever the hell it is,is definitely something. But it's not something I can tangibly see. So I'm still on the fence. I've had about 4 acupuncture sessions at $100/pop. Needles don't frighten me. Most of the needles felt like a mosquito going in and then were quickly forgotten about. But there was one needle that was stuck in the hard cartilage of my ear that throbbed. THERE'S. A. NEEDLE. IN. YOUR. EAR. REPEAT. THERE'S. A....the entire session. It was tolerable, but not exactly pleasant.


+Self Pelvic massage

There are lots of (not necessarily scientific claims of) the benefits of massage, but ask anyone that has ever had a massage - Is massage a good thing?- and I'll bet they'll tell you it is. Massage is a great thing, in theory and in practice, ergo a self pelvic massage to inspire hormone balance and fertility, can't be that much more of stretch, right? right? (I suppose there is a slippery slope to all of this crunchy self-care stuff isn't there? And I've sipped the kombucha kool-aid to a degree haven't I?) While the benefits aren't exactly quantitative, I can say giving yourself a daily abdominal and pelvic massage with a little castor oil is nice. Of the plausible benefits, bringing more circulation to your reproductive organs and gastro intestinal tract, it really can't be bad. So why not? You can read more on the manifold benefits here, or watch this quick video on how (and when) to do it yourself.



 

+essentail oils 

Clary Sage, Rose Otto, Geranium, and Sweet Fennel are all excellent oils that are known for their hormone balancing properties. I don't know if they do anything, but I love to put them in a room diffuser because they smell nice. Maybe smelling nice things reduces stress, maybe not. Anyway, nice smelling placebos are cool in my book. However, if you should become pregnant, you should discontinue use of these essential oils, as many of them can cause uterine contractions. 

room diffuser, click to purchase on Amazon.



+/-Supplement with Maca Root 

Maca has been touted as an ancient Peruvian miracle root for infertility - it just naturally and magically adapts (it's called an Adaptogen) in your body to produce more of what you need, progesterone or estrogen. It can be found everywhere, even at Trader Joe's. Ok, so I don't completely believe or trust the recent hype of this supplement. The trouble with just buying a bag of this from Trader Joe's for medicinal fertility purposes, is you don't know how to correctly dose yourself for your desired outcome. Guesswork can be dangerous.  And be forewarned, Do not take this while undergoing any hormonal fertility treatments or if you are on hormonal birth control as it will interfere. Do your research on possible drug or health condition interactions before taking any and all supplements. If you really want to try this, it is probably best to work under the guidance of a herbalist/naturopath to understand when and how much you should take (if at all). Estrogen levels spike and fall depending on the particular days of your cycle, so if you take Maca at a low estrogen level time (during your period, among others) it could actually raise your estrogen levels, which if you are estrogen dominant/progesterone deficient, is not at all what you want. I recommend not doing this.



+/-Supplement with Vitex/Chaste Berry

Vitex,Chasteberry, monk’s pepper, or Agnus Castus is the fruit of the chaste tree. It is native to the Mediterranean and has been used for gynecological and fertility issues for over 2,500 years. If you are not pregnant, not on hormonal birth control, not currently doing fertility treatments (i.e. IVF or aggressive clomid/femara/letrozole treatments), are progesterone deficient, and have a luteal phase defect, this supplement could help. It can take up to 6-12 months for an observable difference in your condition, but I've been taking Vitex for a month (alongside a few months of the above mentioned diet and lifestyle changes) and have noticed that my cycle is getting longer, my periods shorter, my skin is clearer, and I'm ovulating a few days sooner than I was several months ago. Herbalists recommend that 2,000mg of Vitex be taken first thing in the morning, on an empty stomach from the day you ovulate (roughly day 12-15 of your cycle) until you get your period, then stop until you next ovulate and repeat. But again, Do your research on possible drug or health condition interactions before taking any and all supplements.


I prefer this brand of Vitex. Click to purchase on Amazon.

+/- Progesterone Cream

This is a mad scientist hack for those that don't produce enough of their own progesterone and need to in order to hold onto a potential pregnancy. You can buy an over-the-counter cream with progesterone synthesized from wild yams to supplement your own, but as always talk to your health care professional first. I like progestacare because one pump gives you a measured dose, 20 mg of Progesterone (important because I believe mad science experiments should be controlled). Progesterone creams are typically rubbed onto your face, chest, abdomen, inner arms or inner thighs (rotate to different part each day), once or twice a day from ovulation until about 15 days later (or until your period comes or you test for pregnancy). If pregnant, don't stop the progesterone until you talk to a medical professional (they'll probably advise you continue it for the next 10 weeks (or may want to put you on different form of progesterone in a pill, shot, or suppository form).) If not pregnant, stop taking progesterone until you ovulate again. I'm going to be honest, unless you are looking to get knocked up and become with child, I wouldn't go this route. Progesterone creams (and the suppositories I was prescribed during my failed clomid treatments) all have the same side effects that I'm not at all crazy about (constipated pooping several times a day, tired all the time, sleep you do get is not restful, indigestion, depression...) In fact, taking progesterone can be pretty disruptive to your life  and it is the thing I hate the most about trying to conceive because it really messes with my head and all the stuff I want to accomplish. But it could also be the thing that is needed, so for now I'm continuing it, but I don't know how long I can keep it up. I buy my progesterone cream through Amazon.


Click to purchase at Amazon




General Disclaimer: I have provided links to products that I am using in my fertility journey, if you click or make a purchase, there's a small chance I might earn a commission (but after four years of blogging, I haven't yet!) So if you are inclined, click away, but please know that I am no expert, just another weary traveler trying to figure out my body, but still clinging to the tried and true safety net of western medicine. Please consult the advice of your health care professional and make the most informed choices for yourself, your health, and your family. That includes doing your own research on possible drug or health condition interactions before taking any and all supplements, procedures, and remaining a healthy skeptic about everything, except vaccines. That shit works for real. If you have any questions, or have something you think I should try, holler at me in the comments. Be well. Be vigilant.



Your Bosom Friend in Pittsburgh,







Best Time-Saving Apps

Thursday, April 19, 2018

 I was a bit of a technical luddite at first, but I've seen the bright ways of the technology sitting in the palm of my hand vis-a-vis my i-phone. In a world where many of us are desperately trying to carve out time for our art/hobbies/passions/side gigs, time is always in short supply. I consider it my most valuable, nonrenewable resource and since we got a puppy, I've been exploring apps that could buy me back a little more of it. Adulting is hard, but certain things are becoming easier. Here are some app things that are helping me tick away the moments that make up a dull day:


Sun Basket

You've seen the Blue Apron and Hello Fresh, etc. meal kit delivery services for years (I have). I've honestly been checking (for years) for one that would do gluten free meals, and none would until recently. Sunbasket! They have all sorts of diet plans for those that eat Vegan, Paleo, straight up vegetarian, Mediterranean, Dairy Free, Soy Free etc. The produce is organic and domestically sourced when able. The meats, you can opt up for organic/grass-fed/free range for each meal (I never utilized the opt up, but I liked having that option.) I can't tell you enough how much I enjoyed groceries magically showing up at my door and having every ingredient necessary to make a delicious meal from a recipe. It was luxurious. I hate to be dramatic, but I'd also call it life changing.

But lemme back up a little.You should know how much I loathe the grocery store. I loathe it. The second I walk through the automatic doors I feel murderous. It is the biggest time sink for me because of other stupid inconsiderate, poke-ass slow, aisle hoggin' shoppers,  and our local markets constantly change up the aisles so I get lost and flustered, can't find ingredients-which takes more time away from me, which makes me even more frustrated and stabby. The entire time I'm in Giant Eagle or Costco, there's a hammer smacking me in the head and screaming, AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHH YOU HAVE SO MANY OTHER THINGS YOU SHOULD BE DOING RIGHT NOW, WHY IS THIS TAKING SOOOO LOOOOOONGGGG. Every week I want to leave the store wailing like a banshee and ditch my grocery cart full of perishables in the toliet paper aisle, all because the gluten free bread got moved, yet again. For years I used to walk into grocery stores and just buy whatever fresh stuff looked good to me and leave. It was easy and it quickly got me out of the place I most hate to be. I would get home, Josh would ask me what I got and I'd shrug. Josh and I had fun iron cheffing our way through whatever the hell I tipped into my cart, but at the end of many years of doing this, we didn't really have a good anthology of recipes that we could fall back on. I had a rough fall, and summoning inspiration for what to make for dinner just added to my stress.  I needed to make food without much thought.

Enter Sun Basket. We ordered three dinners for two people once a week. Including the shipping, it was $78, which is less than we typically spend when we go out one time. We got three meals a week for about 3-4 months. I have to tell you it wasn't just that food showed up at my door,  and there was less of me at the grocery store...I actually learned so much about combining flavors and cooking techniques. And soon I had a stack of recipes under my belt that I wanted to make again and again. Sunbasket really helped me to find my love for cooking again and I am excited to share that I have a special introductory rate for you! If you follow my highlighted link or go to ( sunbasket.com/invite/Meryl977954 ) you'll get $40 off your first order of three meals, with no commitment! Three organic meals for two people for $38? You can't even get one meal for that price at a restaurant. You can try the service, choose a menu, and then cancel after your first shipment if you want. While we haven't gotten any meals in a couple months, I keep my eyes on each week's new menu for things I'd like to try. Sunbasket runs specials too, where you can get discounted meals every so often, and I know that is when I'll dip back in for a week. Sunbasket has a super handy app that I actually love to scroll through and I refer to it quite often when I duplicate their recipes. A few of our favorite recipes include: Gluten Free Mushroom Stroganoff with Spinach and Peas, Chicken Piccata with Apple Brassica SaladRed Lentil and Leek Gluten Free Pot Pie, and a Quinoa Bowl with Kale, Mushrooms, and Herb-Crusted Goat Cheese Medallions.


Plate Joy

While I would love for food to show up at my door step via Sunbasket indefinitely, the cost of weekly meal kits do add up, especially for my technically part-time salary. Enter Plate Joy. This app takes your dietary needs (gluten free for me), time you'd like to spend cooking (not much for breakfast or lunch), and comes up with weekly healthy recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. Once your menus are ok'ed by you, it asks what you already have in your "pantry," then it makes an organized shopping list. After that, I go to the grocery store and buy from the list (my least favorite part) and then I have everything we need for the home-cooked meals Josh and I will eat that week. I'm trying this app out for 6 months. The cost for 6 month's of Plate Joy is $69. (a year is $99 which further cuts costs).

So far, I love not having to think about meal planning and typing out shopping lists for myself. Plus, having a grocery list that is organized by the store departments is also a time saver. I also enjoy the less than 10 minute breakfasts and lunches. I don't mind spending up to an hour on dinner, but I don't have much time for lunch and breakfast. While the recipes aren't as "foodie" and adventurous as Sunbasket, they are still solidly tasty and healthy and I learned about gluten free microwaveable chocolate chip banana bread mug muffins (life-changing.) They also allowed a new feature where you can add your own favorite recipes (from outside the app). I haven't done this yet, but I certainly have a few sunbasket ones I'd like to add. Did I mention how much I don't want to think and worry about food until it's time to eat it? This app is the best for that. Too bad it can't do the grocery shopping for me - but fear not, grocery delivery is the next time-saving thing I'm going to look into because I work 6.5 hours a day and I have a book in need of big picture, character arc and prose edits. Time Time Time.

 

Sweat

Another thing I'd prefer not to have to think about. Exercise. Are you sensing a pattern here? That I don't want to think? It's not that I don't, it's just that I don't view the world in black and white terms, so literally everything becomes worthy of serious consideration and contemplation, even when it's not. There are certain things that are just better off when they're done and over with, like exercise. When you think too much about something, that probably means you aren't doing it...at least that is the way I operate. Anyway, my sleep got disrupted by the new puppy last spring, I fell off the exercise bandwagon and my pants stopped fitting. You can read about that here. The Kayla Itsines sweat app helped me construct a week of low intensity cardio sessions (3x, 35 minutes a go) and strength training sessions (3x, 28 minutes a go). Before I got halfway through the program, my pants fit again. When I finished the 12 week program I had some seriously nice toned muscles going on, especially in the mid-section. The sweat app is challenging and I love the way it motivates me to get the job done. It was worth the $19.99/month (if you pay the yearly cost upfront, it's even cheaper) -which costs less than 30 minutes with a personal trainer; the mental and physcial results are worth it.

Unfortunately I'm currently on a fertility drug regimen, and the side effects are low energy, mood swings, hot flashes, flatulence (sexy!), and headaches. I'm tired and headache-y all the time and I don't even have the energy to care that I can't work out right now. I just sort of go about my days like a farty slug with a migraine, so I suspended my subscription to Sweat, but you can be sure that I will resume Sweat when I start feeling better. I'll probably need to soon, as after a month and a half of very, very intermittent exercise, my pants are getting tight again! UGH THE STRUGGLE IS SO VERY REAL.

 

Glow

How many times have you gone to your OB GYN...or any doctor really, and they've asked you, "when was your last period?" Come on. Like I wanna remember that anniversary. Like I even have a special portion of my brain reserved for that. Like I have my stuff together enough. None of these things. I can inside joke about Family Guy and Archer all day long, be haunted by a SS05 Chloe seersucker suit, but remember the date of my last period? No. Thank God there's an app for that. This was the first app I got when I got a smart phone in 2011, and I always pull it up at the doctor's. Glow also tracks symptoms in case you are trying to self diagnose stuff and/or need help learning approximately what days to avoid/gun for sex depending on your babymakin' goals. So yeah, it's an invaluable tool and it's free.


Lutron

When we bought our new home in....2015? (I'm the worst at remembering personally significant dates), we made a lot of upfront renovations that didn't seem very sexy to me at the time, i.e. leveling floors, re-wiring light switches. I can't think of anything more boring and terrifying than electrical work. maybe plumbing. idk. We got Lutron and I didn't realize it at the time, but after it was installed...lights, three floors down could be turned off with your phone...while you are laying in bed. (!!!!!!!!!) Then in 2017, we got an Alexa and we could turn lights off, by telling Alexa to do it....without our phone, while laying in bed with a pillow shoved in our eyes - this is something that has become radically more important to me these last couple months due to my hormonally induced laziness. 


Chewy

I hate shopping IRL. You should know that by now. When you own two dogs and live in a city, you constantly need something. Chewy, that's your cue. Funny story. I learned about this app for dogs and cats by a guy that lives on my street that also has two Jack Russell Terriers. What are the chances? Chewy has my information and I just order what I need and I'm done. Often times things arrive the next day. I've even signed up for auto-ship on a few items like dog food and poop bags. It's just so easy, and I love easy, like, really, really love it. By the way, I started a dog account on instagram follow my two cuties @thejagrussells


Insight Timer


This last one is the least time-savvy app of the lot. But, it could buy you a few more years of life sooooo stress and stressing. yeah. Stress is something I carry around inside me. Most days, I feed off of it. To feel the diamond fine edge of the blade on the bottoms of my feet while I tenuously tightrope it, well, most days it's divine. But that's me. I like pressure and deadlines. They energize me (when they are things I can control.) Infertility is something that is largely outside of my control. And everyone has ideas about things you can control and do to hopefully encourage more fertility within yourself. Don't drink. Don't take amphetamines. Eat womb-shaped vegetables. Don't eat soy or dairy. Don't stress. Think positive. Take a break from your novel for a few months. This is all the most boring busywork I can think of, but here I am doing it, or rather, not doing it. Which, leaves me with some anxiety because I'm not as busy as I was (which is good in some respects because I SO TIRED). They say idle hands do the devil's work, or in my case, idle thoughts come straight from the devil. Doctors and therapists have always been like, what do you do to manage stress? CARDIO-WINE-WRITE I always used to say, but now that I can't do that, I never thought I'd say or do this, but I'm meditating. Insight timer has a lot of guided meditations, which is nice, because I certainly need my hand held for this, and Josh and I are meditating together. It helps to have someone help you feel less like a woowoo dum dum. 


What apps help you with life or make it more enjoyable? I'd love to hear them.


Your Bosom Friend in Pittsburgh, 


The Weight

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

i-phone photo: Joshua Franzos


"Take a load off fanny, take a load for free."

Even the music I was listening to was mocking me, cuz that's what I needed to do. Take a load right off the fanny. The Weight, as in my weight gain, was the result of a convergence of things. Giving up amphetamines. Getting a puppy that needed to get up 2-3 X a night and then skipping the gym in the morning because I was too exhausted. Also, not altering my food or alcohol intake to account for less drugs and activity. After a couple months of this, I gained some weight. TBH I didn't really notice it until my pants began to hurt me. But the real slap in the face was when a nurse weighed me and the scale was on an upwardly mobile path towards 10 stone. (I'll let you google that if you really want to know, but since the goal of this blog post is NOT to get hung up on numbers,  maybe you shouldn't and should just keep reading).

Except for doctor visits, I do not weigh myself because it makes me crazy. It is easy for me to obsess. I'm an artist so it's a little weird for me to obsess over a number when I really despise all numbers, but I do. But I find that body weight numbers often don't give us the whole story. It doesn't tell you your fat to muscle ratio for one. But I tell you all this, because I want to peel back the fashion blog facade a little and be more real around here. The more personal I get, the more you, dear reader, seem to relate or at least view me as the imperfect human that I very much am. As a writer, my goal is to create multi-dimensional characters on the page and I feel like I should do more of that around here. I find myself, a blog reader as well, growing weary of everything being happy and perfect and on trend all the goddam time. I prefer our relationship to be one of mutual respect for one another rather than one-sided admiration.There are real people behind fashion blogs. I'd like see more of them and be advertised to a little less. So I thought I'd apply my own desires for other people's blogs to my own blog. Y'know, to show that I'm more than just a pretty face with pretty clothes. I swear. I drink. I don't have magical metabolism.

I've been in good shape for the past ten years. The best in my life, thanks to probably three things. Amphetamines. A gluten free diet. Working out 4-5 times a week. But I wasn't always in great shape. I was in the worst shape and in the worst mental head space right after my father died (17) until I was about 26. Most females are or have been in that toxic headspace at some point in their lives. The whole bitch of the matter is you don't even have to be in bad shape to have a poor body image!

Back when I had some abs. photo credit: Joshua Franzos

I was even a professional model with agencies in Michigan and New York during that period. Still no. Thought I wasn't thin enough. Most of us aren't explicitly taught to inhabit as little space as possible, but as females we tend to suck that message right up, almost osmotically. Be thin. Weigh as little as possible. Value what our bodies look like over what they can do. Don't even get me started on undervaluing the feminine mind. Ugh.

But then something changed. Maybe it had something to do with the onset of my thirties. Or maybe because I made a lot of brazen personnel and vocational changes so that I'm actually happy in love, happy in what I'm doing, and therefore, happy in body and my own skin. I don't know. But I do know that I'm done with the poor body image chapter of my life. I closed the door on that sadistic squatter in my head a very long time ago. But I tell you, almost two months ago, I looked at Doctor's office scale and I could swear that I heard her scratching at the door.

It would be easy to obsess over a number. But let's. just. not. I'm simply not going to look in the mirror and beat myself up or call myself awful names anymore. What do we hope to accomplish with that? Do we hope to motivate ourselves by shaming ourselves into action? How often does that even work? You wouldn't tolerate anyone else speaking to you like that, so why do it to yourself?

Don't.

I decided that I couldn't afford to buy all new pants. I decided that I need to love, respect, and be patient with myself, but tired or not, I needed to move because moving my body and being active makes me feel like ME in the head. That's most important. I also like to surprise myself with my own strength and agility. But also, I really wanted my pants to stop being a pain in the ass and stomach and thighs. Life gets away from you sometimes. You're putting out one fire only to have two others spring up. It happens to the best of us, but your physical and mental health is so important and you don't even realize how good you have it until the moment you don't. Make it a priority and snap it back into focus.

So part of this blog is telling you about things or products that I've found or picked up that add style, joy, value, or ease to my life. I have to admit, given my recent state of affairs, I recently jumped at a perfectly timed ad in my instagram feed. It was for Kayla Itsines' BBG (Bikini Body Guide) via the Sweat App. I needed a kindly kick in the pants, so I did about five minutes of "research" before I just decided to commit to a one week free trial.  I found that I really liked the challenging excercises and the app function during my free trial. What I like the most about it is, I don't have to think or plan anything, just do. It's $20/month and it's a great value. It's less than one session with a personal trainer, but it's like having a personal trainer in your pocket every day. There's even some food plan stuff that I don't even utilize. (This is not sponsored by the way, I'm just loving on this app). 
BBG encourages photos to track your progress. (You don't have to share if you don't want)

I've been doing the workouts for 7 weeks now. I can't tell you that I lost weight. (as you know I don't weigh myself). Someone commented on my arms last week. And I am seeing some attractive definition in my muscles elswhere. I suspect I may have even gained some muscle weight. HOWEVER, the moral of the story is after 7 weeks my pants fit again. My pants fit again and I didn't have to emotionally abuse myself. I'm eager to see how I feel and look as I continue this BBG journey. If you're in the same boat as me, I just want to encourage you to try and set the scale aside and focus more on how your clothes fit. It's less crazy making.

Look. I know you want it to, but nothing truly great happens overnight. Results will come.You are a piece of art. A work in progress, honey. So be patient. Be kind to yourself. Do the work and trust the process. Overthink everything else in your life, but not exercise. Never overthink exercise. I know it sounds trite, to say so because it's a brand slogan, but I honestly can't say it any better or more simply than, just do it.  Just do it and love yourself and those around you.


Your Bosom Friend in Pittsburgh,


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