Follow The White Rabbit

 

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

I'm always on the hunt for the elusive, white rabbit and it all started with Walt Disney's animated adaptation of Lewis Carroll's novel, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I watched it so much as a child, I wore out the VHS tape. When I was older, my parents introduced me to Jefferson Airplane's song, Go Ask Alice. When I was older still, the literature reference popped up again in The Matrix. The white rabbit is the inciting event for Alice or Neo. In story-telling terms, the inciting event is the thing that sparks their curiosity and sets their stories, officially in motion.

My story officially started years ago, but for the sake of this post, we're going to flash forward, to a point in my life where I had some serious problems with the way it was playing out. I won't bore you with my Dickensian story of woe, but just know that we're talking full-on, existential crisis mode. And then, 

a white rabbit appeared.

and.

I followed him.

I'm talking symbolically, of course. I didn't *actually* see a white rabbit at the darkest point of my life. But I did see a chance and I pursued it. I went head-first, down the rabbit hole (so to speak) and came out the other side, stronger and happier than I've ever known. 

A changed person. A grateful woman.

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

But then, something weird started happening. I actually started seeing the white rabbit. It started when I began writing during my lunch hours everyday. I'd run over to the library, find my window seat in the quiet WWII section, and pour my heart out onto the pages of my moleskine notebook. One day, many weeks later, I looked up from a nearly full notebook and saw the white rabbit right on the library bookshelf (it was a book titled, The White Rabbit). I knew right then and there, that it was a sign that I was on the right path. 

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

 

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

 

My grandfather's initials. photo credit: Joshua Franzos

My mother's watch. photo credit: Joshua Franzos

 

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

 

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

I see the white rabbit everywhere now and I try to document most of it on my Instagram account. I know it sounds positively crazy, but I don't care. He's a personal totem for me--a weird symbol of the unknown. A sign that I'm where I should be, doing exactly what I'm doing. I trust that he'll always send me on a merry journey where I will see cool things, meet interesting people, and have great stories to tell afterward. Do you have any personal totems, symbols, or signs that encourage you? I want to hear about them in the comments below.

Your Bosom Friend From Pittsburgh,

What I wore:

Blouse: Oasap

Pants: My grandfather's Navy bell bottoms.

Watch: Vintage, Omega.

Jewelry: Vintage.

Bag: Vivienne Westwood

Shoes: Louis Vuitton

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Winter Whites

 

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

I was born and largely raised in California. I didn't see my first snow until I was five years old and vacationing in Lake Tahoe. It was magical and beautiful, until it wasn't. A boy threw an icy snow ball at my face and it hurt. I cried. Snow wasn't anything like the cartoons, especially when I tried to make my own return-fire snowball. It numbed my little fingers and my aim sucked. I whiffed it. Big time. The stupid boy laughed at my pathetic snowball, so I shuffled over to him in my two-tone nylon speed suit, took off my vinyl mittens, and punched him in the nose. This time, my aim was true. His nose bled and I was put in a time out. How was I supposed to know that icy snowballs were permissible, but fisticuffs were not? As far as I was concerned, Lake Tahoe could keep their stupid snow. 
 

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

Flash forward 29 years and I don't live in California anymore. I live in Pittsburgh and get four seasons, one of which is winter. Snow is still magical and beautiful, until it isn't. The first snow fall of every year,  I get all squishy and obnoxious about looking at the individual snow flakes. "Aren't they so beautiful?" "Each one is unique!" I have about a 24 hour, honeymoon period with snow every year. Then, the next morning, when I'm up at 4:45am, shoveling the driveway and scraping the beautiful and unique devils off my car so I can get to the gym, I'm soooooooooo over it.

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

 Snow, you wretched pain in my neck. GO AWAY. Or at least have the decency to fall hard enough so that I can get an adult snow day. DEAR GOD. I hold out hope every year for the possibility of an ADULT SNOW DAY. It might be what actually gets me through to spring. Help me adult snow day, you're my only hope! 

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

In the meantime, I'm trying to make winter time dressing a little more fun. A little less rutty. A lot more epic. Are delusions of grandeur a symptom of cabin fever? I went to the planet of Hoth for inspiration and I am of course, talking about the fictional planet from the epic space opera known as Star Wars. Hoth is a desolate world, covered with ice and snow and located in the Anoat Sector, a rarely traveled portion of the Outer Rim. The indigenous creatures are the tauntaun and the wampa and it's really, really cold there. The rebel alliance (you know, Luke, Han, Leia, etc) was re-established there in Echo Base in The Empire Strikes Back and I gotta say, I love the rebel alliance in their winter whites.

 

photo credit: Unknown

Mr. Franzos, Lando and I, (meet my dog! named after Lando Calrissian) got out for a little, winter walk at a neighborhood sculpture park. Instead of going complete white monochromatic like the rebel alliance, I mixed it up with black, because, that's what I have in my closet. I wore my favorite rabbit fur hat, a cream OASAP shearling jacket, an Ann Taylor Loft vest, a black Los Angeles t-shirt, cream Free People stretch pants, a Kelsi Dagger shoulder bag, Hunter wellington boots and my favorite vintage French sunglasses. 
 

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

I think I'm ready to punch snow in the nose.  How do you keep warm and stay stylish? Tell me in the comments below! I'd love to hear it.

Your Bosom Friend From Pittsburgh,

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Our Eccentric Wedding

Tin-type plate by Jason Snyder

Mr. Franzos and I are a tad eccentric. We're a little out there. But if it were a who's weirder contest between the two of us, I'd win. But we're married now and my eccentricities are his, and his are mine, and so on and so forth. We are so fortunate to have found the kindred spirits in each other in this big, old world. We were married on Friday, May 23, 2014 and had a pretty fantastic party. Here are some of the fun details.

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Mitch Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

 

photo credit: Mitch Franzos

We wanted our wedding to be beautiful and memorable. So I started the wedding planning off with the question, Who's going to photograph it? I didn't want Mr. Franzos to miss his wedding day by being the photographer of his own wedding. So what to do? Mr. Franzos has been a photographer for 15+ years. He's done it all. We both knew he would turn his  critical eye on pretty much any other photographer but himself. So what does a photographer do when it's their turn to get married? We commissioned a photographer that did something he couldn't do (and therefore couldn't be critical of): a tin-type photographer. In my former life as an auction house manager, I sold a lot of tin-type photographs and daguerreotypes. I was very familiar with this stuff and of course, loved the historical aspect as much as Mr. Franzos. Our wedding tin-typer and mad chemist, Jason Snyder, works with this photographic process that was most widely used in the 1860's and 1870's, but was largely abandoned for more modern photographic technology. The exposure can be 1 second (or longer). It is important to stay still and not blink. There was some blinking and moving in our photos, and that was fine with us. It adds character. I simply I cannot do it justice, so please read more in depth about this fascinating process here. Our 39 guests, sat for portraits and were given the actual tin plate photographs as wedding favors. So, while we did have a wedding photographer, Mr. Franzos, still couldn't resist bringing his camera to our wedding. I gave him my blessing, it was all so photogenic. He took some pictures, then his canon 5D mark iii, became a pass around patty. His father, his brothers, his friends, some kids, they all took turns using the camera with great success (we are working on completing or wedding album). Mr. Franzos also brought a Nikon F100 camera with slide film in it. I think by the time we were done, we had about 4-5 different photo formats included in our wedding album. I love it. It's a walk through photographic history.

invitations by minted. I-phone photo by Meryl Franzos

Mansions on Fifth. photo credit: Joshua Franzos

Slide film. photo credit: Joshua Franzos

Accordionist Henry Doktorski, tin-type by Jason Snyder

Ok. I'll get to the dirty, wedding details and you can have a pinterest/etsygasm. I told my florist, the talented Rachel Check of Hepatica, "I want my bouquet to look like a decaying, British estate." She loved that and took my warped wedding design sense and made the most beautiful bouquets for myself and my sister. She also made some adorable fiddle head boutonnieres for the gents. The venue, Mansions on Fifth, which we chose not only for its gorgeous setting, but also because the food won us over during the tasting. (Food and Drink is a big part of our lives, and was a big part our day). There were lamb lollies and raw oysters, champagne and bourbon, Scottish salmon and Grass-fed Beef. Our cake was a local treasure: Prantl's burnt almond torte with edible butterflies. I wanted the decorations to look like a Vanitas painting, because I'm broody and cerebral like that. I stalked etsy and ebay for quirky antique beakers, apothecary jars and old medicine bottles to put flowers in (Mr. Franzos and I bought flowers from Whole Foods, the morning of our wedding and had a great time decorating the tables). We rented our Piece de Resistance table centerpieces, terrariums, from Green Sinner and I added random stuff to them: a deer skull, a large skeleton key, an old watch, a 1/2 inch tall white rabbit, a severed mannequin ear... This was seriously the most fun I've ever had decorating for a party. Accordionist, Henry Doktorski, played some old-fashioned french tunes before, during and after the ceremony. Talk about and unforgettable evening!  

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

 

 Guest Tin-type Portait. tin-type credit: Jason Snyder

Guest Tin-type portrait. tin-type credit: Jason Snyder

Photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

What we wore: My silk dress was designed by Caroline Devillo, but I had it altered into a tight little pencil dress. It took three women to zip me up! My fascinator veil, I found on etsy. My make-up was done by the talented, Jae Lee Paredes. My 30's movie star hair by Briana Rasicci. I splurged and got lash extensions by Allison Roth Studio, which I LOVED--I wish I could have lashes like that all the time. I had my nails done by my favorite manicurist at Pearl Nail Salon. My shoes were nude leather Prada platforms to make my legs look their longest. Mr. Franzos wore a 3-piece pinstripe suit, inspired by the 1930's menswear in the HBO show, Boardwalk Empire, complete with pocket squares. I just love a man in a 3-piece, especially my man.

tin-type credit: Jason Snyder

photo credit: unknown

 

We had so much fun, we want to get married all over again!

(As I was about to post this, I just realized, today, January 23, 2015 

is our 8 month anniversary...do I have good timing or what?)

These past 8 months have been the happiest of my life, here's to so many happy more, sweetheart.

Your bosom friend in Pittsburgh,

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The Year of Architecture

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

Hey there. Happy New Year!


So, I've been thinking a lot about my novel in progress and not really about much else, including any sort of New Year's resolutions. Then I began thinking, when did all this resolution stuff start anyway? I fully expected that the tradition stemmed from a Hallmark marketing push in 1936 or something. But with a little research, I found out that the tradition, of turning over a new leaf or performing some act of self-improvement at the start of the new year has been around since (at least) Babylonian times.

Wow.

Anyway, I don't have any new resolutions this year, not because I think I'm perfect or too good for all that (far from it). But because I simply think about it in a different way. In a terrifying and exhilarating, big picture kind of way. This is the year of architecture.

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

I'm reading a philosophical intro to architecture, called The Architecture Of Happiness by Alain de Botton. I doubt I would've picked this book up on my own; my ex gave it to me right after we split up in 2009 and I've been slowly picking my way through it ever since. It is a poignant and oddly touching book. Maybe it's the finality of the situation in which the book was given, but ever since, I've looked at architecture through a completely different lens. Sometimes we have to experience what we don't want in order to realize what we do. De Botton writes,

"We may need to have an indelible mark on our lives, to have married the wrong person, pursued an unfulfilling career into middle age or lost a loved one before architecture can begin to have any perceptible impact on us, for when we speak of being 'moved' by a building, we allude to a bitter-sweet feeling of contrast between the noble qualities written into a structure and the sadder wider reality within which we know them to exist" (22).

Aside from the Tower of Babel, architecture, on the whole, tends to linger. Think of the pyramids. Think of the gothic cathedral Notre Dame de Paris...these are human made structures, legacies. They will persist, because they were amazing feats then and still are. They will persist because we want them to. They persist because we see those that came before us and ourselves wrapped up in these structures. I get a little bit sad every time I see a historical landmark get torn down instead of maintained or re-purposed (this happens frequently in Pittsburgh). I get a little sad, because someone built that. That was someone's contribution, someone's legacy. This of course drums up questions about one's own legacy and on the same note, one's own mortality. If you put something out there, will it be accepted? Will it make a difference? Will it be larger than life and outlast you? Will you be remembered when you die?

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

I might be a little bit morbid at times, but deep, down, I am an optimist. I believe everyone has a purpose, a greater calling to make a difference in the world. Whether you actually make a difference is not the point. The point is that you pick up the reigns and try, and keep trying and keep on trying. Did you know that the 12th Century Notre Dame Cathedral took 182 years to complete? The original architects didn't even get to see their concept through to completion. In fact, their great grandchildren probably didn't see it through to completion. But they kept on. 

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

This is the year of building for Mr. Franzos and I. We're building our businesses, our art, our home, our lives together, and living each day like it's January 1st.

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

Louis Vuitton Foundation Building by architect Frank Gehry Copyright: Louis Vuitton Foundation.fr

My look this week was inspired by the work of one of my favorite deconstructivist architects, Frank Gehry.  Mr. Franzos and I shot this series back in the North Fork of Long Island in July (You can tell by the freckles on my nose). We stayed at the Shades Of Gray Cottage, (no relation to the book, there are just many shades of gray in the beautiful decor). I wore an ASOS cotton pencil skirt, a Lululemon yoga lady racerback and an All Saints dolman knit sweater. I paired it with my favorite accessories: Sam Edelman booties, Sarah Loertscher earrings and my classic, YSL 'Muse' bag. Chic, machine-washable and effortless.This is a great, year-round, work look; just add opaque tights in the winter.

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

photo credit: Joshua Franzos

It being the new year and all, I can't help but want to leave you with a Frank Sinatra earworm, The Best is Yet to Come. I firmly believe this. So tell me, what are you building this year? 

Your Bosom Friend In Pittsburgh,

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Bonus Holiday Gift Guide: Buying Gifts For The Men Folk

I liked to give gifts when I was a kid, but I had no money. My weekly allowance would net me about $2.00 IF I did ALL my chores. But I was a slacker, so I was really only netting a $1.00/week. Which bought bupkis. So I was a resourceful little git. Gifts for my mom were easy. I could always count on my elementary school to have some sort of Christmas ornament craft involving popsicle sticks and silver glitter. Every year, she would carefully store those school-made ornaments and drag them out and decorate our tree. She ate those ornaments up. She loved them. Check that box off, Mom was done. 

Now for Dad.....Dad stumped me. Men in general stumped me. I knew nothing of their ways and habits and likes....nor did I care. Commercials in the eighties educated me on what made good gifts. Perfume for women, cologne for men, or Swatches for everyone. So I went straight for the re-gift cupboard where my Mom put perfectly good things, still in their original packaging. There were never any swatches in the re-gift cupboard. But this curated collection of un-wanted gifts...it was a godsend for indigent kids with buck a week, Now and Later habits. So, every year, on Christmas morning my poor father unwrapped the same, un-opened wooden box of English Leather cologne that I found in the re-gift closet. His initial, enthusiastic "Aww, thanks!" when I was 7, grew less and less, until finally, after an embarrassing number of years of Christmas deja vu later, nothing more could be said. He silently set good ole English Leather on the lamp table in our living room and got up to re-fill his coffee. I put English Leather back in the re-gift closet that year.

Not long after that Christmas, I became aware of men and boys and threw myself into a life-long pursuit of understanding their likes, hopes, dreams and desires. The male species fascinated me, intrigued me, excited me. I've been accepted into their social circles, been treated as one of their own, participated in various mating rituals...and can say with certainty that the male species is simultaneously complex and simple. Through rigorous study, I know that there are few gifts that guys receive that will give you the excited reaction you want from them. Guys simply do not gush over gifts like women folk do, well....they would, if you bought them a chrome Maserati, but you know, I'm sure there's a waiting list or something for that. Guys are just weird about gifts.

So, without further ado, here is a non-exhaustive and realistic list of gift-giving ideas for guys.

Gifts that never excite men: cologne. I learned this the hard way.They'd prefer not to wear cologne, but they feel obligated now that you got it for them. They'd really appreciate it if, for Christmas, next year, you developed a love for the smell of soap and water and deodorant.

Gifts that don't excite men, but they will use and use and use: underwear. Make it black. Clean underwear is a gift that keeps on giving. Make it designer and black and they will feel extra special and loved.

Gifts that don't excite men, but they need because they hate shopping: clothes. Scroll through my pictures above. Keep the words, cool, rugged, tough, slick and classic in mind when selecting clothing. If, after they open your gift, and they have a blank, and unimpressed expression on their face, just say, "for some reason, I thought of you and I thought of a porsche....so I got this pair of jeans-this sweater- this jacket-this backpack (whatever)- for you," they'll put it on and like it, but only if it really looks design-y like a Porsche.

Gifts that men don't realize they like until it shows up at their doorstep repeatedly: Pretty much any awesome "Of-the-Month" program. Bourbon of the month, Beer of the month, Wine of the month, Rootbeer of the month. Hot sauce of the month. Cheese of the month. Whatever they're into, if they get a sampling of it once a month for a stretch of time, pretty much, best gift ever. 

Gifts that men like pretty alright: books with beautiful pictures of things that they like. Furniture, meat, architecture, cars, tasteful pictures that Helmet Newton took of nude women....The book itself should look like a work of art.

Gifts that men love: doing things. Men like to do and see, as long as they don't have to plan it. Concerts, food, history, drinks, road tripping. Plan a weekend road trip to Bourbon country or your favorite music festival. Shared memories and experiences are some of the best gifts (for either sex).

Gifts that always excites any guy, any time, any where (Use this knowledge wisely and don't abuse it...because it's the ace in the hole): Kitchen knives. The nicer, the better. They will literally, rip it out of it's packaging and find something to chop, whether or not they're hungry or the thing needs chopping. Also on the subject of gifts that make guy's pupils dilate, flying drones with go-pro's on them. But let's just pretend I didn't say that. Shun and Wustof make great knives.

Your Bosom Friend In Pittsburgh, 

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Bonus Holiday Gift Guide: The Best Gifts Are The One's You LOVE, But Don't Buy For Yourself

I often page through magazines and LOVE certain things. "I LOVE those gold leather driving gloves," she said, "But, I'd NEVER buy them." Do you ever do this? Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding!!! Listen up. This is what gift-giving should be about. Give the gifts you are too scared, too reserved, too whatever your hang-up is to buy for yourself, and never look back. I mean, think about it. Why won't you buy it for yourself? Too decadent, too crazy, too lilac for your all black closet, too....too? Just give it instead. 

Gloves and scarves are one of those things that I LOVE. I love them, but I hate buying them for myself. I don't know. *Shrug* Anyway, I picked out a bunch of really cool scarves that I'd love to receive as gifts, therefore by my theory of relative giftability equation = great gifts to give. 

What is your "I LOVE those_________________, but I'd never buy them for myself"? Share it with me in the comments below and how about this year, you try giving it to those deserving of your self-denying tastes.

Your Bosom Friend In Pittsburgh, 

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